Build own your transporter

              .-----------------------------.
              |  Build own your transporter |
              |   (c) David Palmer 2000     |
              '-----------------------------'


1. Construct a Heisenberg Compensator.

   a) Locate a domestic microwave oven.
        .---------------.
        |.-----------.  |
        ||           |()|
        ||           |oo|
        |'-----------'  |
         """""""""""""""
   b) Removing the outer casing from the and pull out the magentron.

        .---------------.
        |.-----------.  |
        ||           |()|
        ||           |oo|   (Don't skip this step or you won't be
        ||___________|__|   able to derive the precise vector and
               .'.'         positional data of particles at a
             .'.'           subatomic level).
            _:_:____
           [XXXXXXXX]
            """"""""
        |---------------|
         """""""""""""""
      Leave the wires attached to the magnetron.

2.    Glue it to the primary induction terminals on the No.7 Transporter
      circuit (Tandy / Radio Shack) taking care not to reverse the polarity .
                     _____________
                    |##TT####ooo##|
                    |##++#-#I=##-#|
                    |##=#HH<>#=#I.|
                    |#############|
                     """""""""""""

                 (Use Metal-Glue)
                  ___________
                 ||          \___
                 ||           |__|
                 ||__________/


3. Take 2 metres of coaxial cable

                __...---...---...---...---...---...---

   and attach the secondary induction terminals of the transport
   circuit to a pair of Pattern buffers.

   I haven't worked out how to multiplex the buffers so you'll have
   to operate these in synchronization when you adjust the frequency
   for the doppler effect or else the subject could get "transporter
   psychosis".

   If you can't locate genuine pattern buffers take two condenser
   microphones and tape them between two pairs of frisbees.
                                    _...---------..._
            __...---...---'''---===(-----------------)
                                    ~---.........---~
                                    _...---------..._
            __...---...---'''---===(-----------------)
                                    ~---.........---~

4. Fit the components to the inside of a Telephone box

                __..---'''---...___
              .'                   '.
             | .-------------------. |
             | |                   | |
             | |                   | |
             | |                   | |
             | |                   | |
             | |                   | |
             | |                   | |
             | |                   | |
             | |                   | |
             | |                   | |
             | |                   | |
             | |                   | |
             | |                   | |
             | |                   | |
             | |                   | |
             | |                   | |
             | |                   | |
             | |                   | |
             | |                   | |
             | |                   | |
             | |                   | |
             | |                   | |
             | |                   | |
             | |                   | |
             |_|___________________|_|



5. Bolt a Satelite dish to the top of the telephone box.
                   .
                  /
                 /
               _.   o
              [_]====\
              ||'
              || \
              ||  \
              ||   '

   and connect to the magnetron using coxial cable.


7. Take a pair of car jumper cables (heavy duty)

    >8============================8<
    >8============================8<


8. Connect one end to a 12v Car Battery
            +         -
           _n_________n_
          |             |
          |             |
          |             |
          |_____________|

9. Connect the other ends to the power terminals of the transporter
   circuit and there we have it!


I'm still working on the rematerialisation chamber and would really
appreciate it if anyone could let me know of a source of dilithium
crystals and antimatter.

* CAUTION * It only takes one handful of antimatter to rip the
atmosphere off a planet so wear thick gloves if you find some.


   #####      frOM tHe tWiStEd mInD oF
  #### _\_   _            _
  ##=-[.].] | \ _.  o _| |_)_.|._ _  _ ._
  #(    _\  |_/(_|\/|(_| | (_||| | |(/_|
   #  \__|
    \___/  dav...@666palmer.freeserve.co.uk
http://www.666palmer.freeserve.co.uk/myascii.html

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