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Original Usenet message from alt.ascii-art, 7 Aug 2004.
cars
[The quoted text is from alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk]


headkase wrote:
> 
>    Subject: Driving along
>       Date: 30 Jul 2004 11:16:06 GMT
>       From: headkase <psy...@hotmail.com>
> Newsgroups: alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk
> 
> 
> and some stupid bitch ( yeah i know but this is my road rage story and i
> believe road rage in a controlled way can be healthy for repressed rage
> so.......) i am driving along the highyway caning to work, as caning as a
> forty year old car will cane, which is surprisingly fast, and this woman in
> a brand new ford is in the fast lane about to hem me in behind a truck, so
> i cane a bit more did not have the vision to see to far ahead but went to
> sneak into quite an adequate gap, cause you know the Val aint zippy at all
> and so i am doing that, i am over the centre line doing a 120 km and hour
> lane manouver between a truck and a brand new purple ford and i fucking hit
> a blown out truck tyre, i could not swerve to avoid it or do anythign
> really i just had to fucking go over it, out of nowhere it came,  BANG and
> a few more bangs it made, am i glad they made em tough in the sixties, i
> was freaking a bit, about potential damage, havent had the old girl checked
> out yet, but you know if it aint broke dont fix it, what cracked me up, the
> boys at work when i told them i hit a truck tyre, went " ohhhhh, fuck you
> hit an alligator" and i thought about that and i have to say if you see one
> curled up on the raod like that, and feel its fucking bite, well its funny
> cause its true....

Detective Veronica goes to work and finds:

http://groups.google.com/groups?selm=Xns94F4D0FA51CFpsykoexgirlfriendhot%40211.29.133.50

which mentions "1969 toyota corona". Sure, one person can have more than
one car, but I'm too lazy to dig any deeper. It's a fairly new post so
it will have to do.

which leads to:

http://www.ies-geneve.ch/2000gt/Histoire/Toyota/Corona1969.jpg

But to draw the driver more easily something like this would be practical:

http://www.ies-geneve.ch/2000gt/Histoire/Toyota/PublicaCabrio.jpg



                             _.----,
                        .-'"    ""--._
                        / |        FF|
                       / .-.      // |
         (|         .-/_J | L    JJ--|---------'""""`.
     ____\_.------'/\_) `""""---' `--'-------\-------'--"--._
   /|       .-." " `             |         == L     _________`L
  | F      J |) ______.----------+-------'"""""""""'----------|
  |F_     /| V   m  .----.       |            | .'  .---.     F
  (] """"--.E---  // .--. `.     F           _|/  //.--\ \   c>
  <`-._   :  )   /// .--.`. \ --J------"""""' |  ///    \ L--'
   `--._`------./// /    \ L L  J           _/__// F    |_|
     `--._`""-"_/ FJ      L| \___\------"";"---""| \    F
       \   """/`-J |      F| |"        `"'       \  `-'/
        `-._-'   \L\     //`-'                    `"""'
                  \ `-.-'/
                   `""""'

Urgh! That car looks *old*!  :D:D:D:D:D:D:D

                             ____
                         .-'"   `"--._
                        / |        //|
                       /  | .-.   // |
         (|          _/_  |J   L //--|---------'""""`._
     ____\_.------'/\_) `""""---' `--'-------.-------'--"--._
   /|       .-." " `             '         == .   ___________`.
  |(/      /( ) ______.----------+-------'"""""""".-----------|
  |'___    \_/  ()  .----.       |            ' .'  .---.     F
  (]   `"--._      / .--. `.     '           _|/   /.-.\ \   C>
  <`-.__  (  ]    // .--.`. \ --+------"""""' '   //` '\\ L--'
   `--._`------. // /`  '\ L L  .           _/   / F- ).H_|
     `--._`---"_/J J.  \ .L| \___.__.-----,----""J \, .//
       \  `"""/`-| |.  / .F| |"        `"'        \ `-'/
        `----'   J \ ,  ./ F-'                     `""'
                  \ `-.-'.'
                   `"---'

Hmmm... slightly better... maybe...

Now for some cheating...


                              ____
                          .-'"   `"--._
                         / |        //|
                        /  | .-.   // |
                      _/_  |J   L //--|---------'""""`._
      ______.------'""   `""""---' `--'-------.-------'--"--._
    .-.__            ___.----""" +-------- == .-------------. L
   L _    "`--. .-""'                                         |
  ( ( ) // , , F/_/ .----.       |            '     .---.     F
  |" "  V ( ( )    / .--. `.     '            |    /.-.\ \   C>
  <`--._   " "|   // .--.`. \    +            '   //` '\\ L--'
   `--.__`-----. // /`  '\ L L   .            '  / F- ).H_|
     `--._`---"_/J J.  \ .L| \___.__.-----,----""J \, .//
       \  `"""/`-| |.  / .F| |"        `"'        \ `-'/
        `----'   J \ ,  ./ F-'                     `""'
                  \ `-.-'.'
                   `"---'
*sigh*

Well, it's a car...

Add driver.

                                       ___
                                    .'     \
                                   /\___,   L
                                   @> @>\   |
                                  | <   ')  |
                                  \\__/ ,   \   (( )
                                   \_.- <    L.'\ /
                              ____   )   \_.-'   >
                          .-'"   `"--._        .'
                         / |  _   / //|    _.-'
                        /  |(_(.\/ // |    |-'
                      _/_  |J   L //  |    |----'""""`._
      ______.------'""   `""""---' `--'-------.-------'--"--._
    .-.__            ___.----""" +-------- == .-------------. L
   L _    "`--. .-""'                                         |
  ( ( ) // , , F/_/ .----.       |            '     .---.     F
  |" "  V ( ( )    / .--. `.     '            |    /.-.\ \   C>
  <`--._   " "|   // .--.`. \    +            '   //` '\\ L--'
   `--.__`-----. // /`  '\ L L   .            '  / F- ).H_|
     `--._`---"_/J J.  \ .L| \___.__.-----,----""J \, .//
       \  `"""/`-| |.  / .F| |"        `"'        \ `-'/
        `----'   J \ ,  ./ F-'                     `""'
                  \ `-.-'.'
                   `"---'

(yes, yes, I know Real People are not that big but this is a cartoon)

Faster!


                                       ____.----'_     --
                                    .'',           ',
                                   /    ,            '       ---
                                   @> @>'            _.'
                                  | <   ')  _.----_-'
                                  \\__/ ,.-'    (( )     --
                                   \_.- <     .'\ /
                              ____   )   \_.-'   >
                          .-'"   `"--._        .'    ----
                         / |  _   / //|    _.-'
                        /  |(_(.\/ // |    |
                      _/_  |J   L //  |    |----'""""`._    -   --
      ______.------'""   `""""---' `--'-------.-------'--"--._
    .-.__            ___.----""" +-------- == .-------------. L
   L _    "`--. .-""'                                         |  --
  ( ( ) // , , F/_/ .----.       |            '     .---.     F
  |" "  V ( ( )    / .--. `.     '            |    /.-.\ \   C>
  <`--._   " "|   // .--.`. \    +            '   //   \\ L--'  -
   `--.__`-----. // /    \ L L   .            '  / F  ) H_|          --
     `--._`---"_/J J   \  L| \___.__.-----,----""J \   //      ---
       \  `"""/`-| |   /  F| |"        `"'        \ `-'/
        `----'   J \     / F-'                     `""'
                  \ `-.-'.'
                   `"---'

Oops!



                                       ____.----'_     --
                                    .'',           ',
                                   /    ,            '       `-.
                                 (@)(@) '            _.'
                                  | _   ')  _.------'
                                  \(_)  ,.-'            `-.
                                   \_.- <
                              ____   )   \        
                          .-'"   `"--._   \          `-.
                         / |  _ _ / //|/   L
                        /  |(_((_( // |  / |              `.
                      _/_  |J   L // /| /  |----'""""`._    `  `.
      ______.------'""   `""""---' `--'-------.-------'--"--._
    .-.__            ___.----""" +-------- == .-------------. L
   L _    "`--. .-""'                                         |  `.
  ( ( ) // , , F/_/ .----.       |            '     .---.     F
  |" "  V ( ( )    / .--. `.     '            |    /.-.\ \   C>
  <`--._   " "|   // .--.`. \    +            '   //   \\ L--'  \
   `--.__`-----. // /    \ L L   .            '  / F  ) H_|          \
     `--._`---"_/J J   \  L| \___.__.-----,----""J \   //      \
       \  `"""/`-| |   /  F| |"        `"'        \ `-'/        \
        `----'   J \     / F-'                     `""'
                  \ `-.-'.'
                   `"---' _.-'"^^^^^^^^^^^^-.-.-.
                   .-----'                   o o `------.
              .---'                               ^^^^^^^
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""


As a sig:


         --     _`----.____        ______             _________
             ,`           ,``.     ___  /____________ ______  /
  ---       `            ,    \    __  __ \  _ \  __ `/  __  /
          `._            `<@ <@    _  / / /  __/ /_/ // /_/ /
             `-_----._  (`   > |   /_/ /_/\___/\__,_/ \__,_/
       --     ( ))    `-., \__//            ______
               \ /`.     > -._/             ___  /_______ ____________
                <   `-._/   (   ____        __  //_/  __ `/_  ___/  _ \
         ----    `.        _.--"'   "`-.    _  ,<  / /_/ /_(__  )/  __/
                   `-._    |\\ \   _  | \   /_/|_| \__,_/ /____/ \___/
                      |    | \\ \/.)_)|  \
--   -    _.'""""`----|    |  \\ J   L|  _\_
    _.--"--`-------.-------`--' `---""""'   ""`------.______
   J .-------------. == --------+ """----.___            __.-.
-  |                                         `""-. .--'"    _ J
   J     .---.     `            |       .----. \_\J , , \\ ( ) )
   <D   / /.-.\    |            `     .' .--. \    ( ) ) V  " "|
 -  `--J //   \\   `            +    / .'.--. \\   |" "   _.--'>
       |_H (  J \  `            .   J J /    \ \\ .-----'__.--'`----.___
---      \\   / F""----,-----.__.___/ |J  /   L L\_"---'_.--'
          \`-' /        `"'        "| |J  \   | |-'\"""'  /
"`---.__   `""'                     `-J \     / F   `----'
        """`-----.____                 `.`-.-' /
                      `""""----.___      `---"'
                                   """"`--------._______
  psy...@hotmail.com                         """"`----.__

-----

headkase wrote:
>
> what is the usenet equivalent for speechless?
> i think this is the sweetest thing that anybody has posted for me in my
> usenet history, i am not waving i am giving the finger yeah?

Hmmm...


         --     _`----.____        ______             _________
             ,`           ,``.     ___  /____________ ______  /
  ---       `            ,    \    __  __ \  _ \  __ `/  __  /
          `._            `<@ <@    _  / / /  __/ /_/ // /_/ /
             `--A---._  (`   > |   /_/ /_/\___/\__,_/ \__,_/
       --      nHnn   `-., \__//            ______
               \ _.L     > -._/             ___  /_______ ____________
                <   \___/   (   ____        __  //_/  __ `/_  ___/  _ \
         ----    \         _.--"'   "`-.    _  ,<  / /_/ /_(__  )/  __/
                  \____    |\\ \   _  | \   /_/|_| \__,_/ /____/ \___/
                      |    | \\ \/.)_)|  \
--   -    _.'""""`----|    |  \\ J   L|  _\_
    _.--"--`-------.-------`--' `---""""'   ""`------.______
   J .-------------. == --------+ """----.___            __.-.
-  |                                         `""-. .--'"    _ J
   J     .---.     `            |       .----. \_\J , , \\ ( ) )
   <D   / /.-.\    |            `     .' .--. \    ( ) ) V  " "|
 -  `--J //   \\   `            +    / .'.--. \\   |" "   _.--'>
       |_H (  J \  `            .   J J /    \ \\ .-----'__.--'`----.___
---      \\   / F""----,-----.__.___/ |J  /   L L\_"---'_.--'
          \`-' /        `"'        "| |J  \   | |-'\"""'  /
"`---.__   `""'                     `-J \     / F   `----'
        """`-----.____                 `.`-.-' /
                      `""""----.___      `---"'
                                   """"`--------._______
  psy...@hotmail.com                         """"`----.__


-- 
      __   __   _____   _____    __    _    _____   _____  
 ,,,  \ \  ) ) / /  \| | | \ \  |  \  | |  / /  \| | | \ \ 
 `..   \ \/ / | |_/|   | |_/ /  |   \ | | | |_/|   | |_/ / 
 .||.   \  /  | | \|   | | \ \  | |\_\| | | | \|   | | \ \ 
 _bb____ \_(   \_\__/| |_|  \_\ |_|   |_|  \_\__/| |_|  \_\
|________ Troll Spokesman  http://www.ludd.luth.se/~vk/ ___|

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