Original Usenet thread from alt.ascii-art, started 13 Aug 1998.
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Ode to Pyramid Schemes and Other Assorted Internet Phenomena (was: $$$Make Money$$$)
alt.ascii-art
· 8 messages · 13 Aug 1998 - 16 Aug 1998
William c. Hall Sr. wrote: > > Hi! This was originally posted this using an unregistered copy of > ********* ********** *** > > You can download your own copy for FREE from: > http://***.**********.*** > > --- > > THIS REALLY CAN MAKE YOU EASY MONEY > > A little while back, I was browsing these newsgroups, just like you > are now, and came across an article similar to this that said you > could make thousands of dollars within weeks with only an initial > investment of $6.00! >... ... ... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Ode to Pyramid Schemes and Other Assorted Internet Phenomena by Matthew Thomas \~/ A long, long time ago, ,"\ I can still remember how those schemes used to make me / |_`. smile ... / (__ \ And I knew that if I ruled the world, J __) ) Then I would send those jerks to hell `.___|_,' And maybe I'd be happy, for a while ... _ _,-'/\ But bulk e-mailers made me shiver _,-',='/ \ Every second, they'd deliver \`---+'`-._\ Junk news on my doorstep, \ / _,-' I couldn't take one more step ... \,-' ______ (_=o___) Until now, I've never tried | | To filter out that spam deep-fried | Diet | But something touched me deep inside | SPAM | The day, my server, died. (______) ,--. `_' So ... (_.__) -(_)- Bye bye scam, you're just pie in the sky , . Drove the Albanians crazy, and sucked them all dry _.-*-._ Them good old admins let this spam slip by \_______/.-. Singing, `This'll be the day that I die; (__._._) This'll be the day that I die'. /L. Do you have faith in MLM, /.L:`. And do you think Good Times will cause mayhem, /. J:::`. Because your e-mail tells you so? /. . L::::> Do you believe in pyramids /. . .J::,' Free Money, and all that stuff that kids /_______L' Circulate to make the Internet real slow? +-------------+ |# ad me | Well I know the Net is full of crime |`-# Re:ad me | 'Cause I get this spam stuff all the time |# EASY MONEY | But I can't just run away |# XXX PICS!! | Because I haven't checked Usenet yet today ... +-------------+ ,-. |66A I am a lonely teenage computer nerd /`'M\ With a dual boot of Linux and Hurd, (| `M\ But I foresaw the Reich of Gates the Third _>\ |M) The day, my server, died. '-_)=(_,' ,--. `_' I started singing: (_.__) -(_)- Bye bye scam, you're just pie in the sky , . Drove the Albanians crazy, and sucked them all dry _.-*-._ Them good old admins let this spam slip by \_______/.-. Singing, `This'll be the day that I die; (__._._) This'll be the day that I die'. X Now for nigh on ten years we've been on our own ____/ \__o____ While the Web grows fat on it's commercial throne, /`-'\ T But that's not how it used to be; . / ) \ o While the gopher sang for academic jocks /`--/--'\ /\ In Veronica's closet and Archie's box, :`-./A_,-'/> U Tim invented the H T tepee ... And while Berners-Lee was looking down ,===-. Andreesen stole his thorny crown || \\ Enquire Within was adjourned || \ _ And a 404 was returned `==> [_] And while Oracular Priests gave out their marks / The Kibologists practised in the park R e l o a d And I sang a ditty in the dark The day, my server, died. ,--. `_' I was singing: (_.__) -(_)- Bye bye scam, you're just pie in the sky , . Drove the Albanians crazy, and sucked them all dry _.-*-._ Them good old admins let this spam slip by \_______/.-. Singing, `This'll be the day that I die; (__._._) This'll be the day that I die'. _ __ _ With custom tags, and a file mime // /-.\ \\ The browsers began to waste our time // // \\ Eight megabytes high and growing fast; << // >> And as Id Est and the Lizard fought in the grass, \\ `' // The open-sourcers caught the pass \\ [] // With the Mosaic all in pieces, in the dust. Now the smell of Java was sweet perfume ,-. But the Borg was playing a fighting tune (_|L ) We all got ready to dance _`& `_ Oh, but we never got the chance ... \`"'|)) 'Cause the programmers tried to take the field _ L_J_ but the .java classes refused to yield ``-===-' ' Do you remember what Sun's tests revealed The day, the server, died. ,--. `_' We had been singing: (_.__) -(_)- Bye bye OS, you're just pie in the sky , . We don't need you any more, so we'll kiss you goodbye _.-*-._ But the good old Borg were drinking decaf, and why? \_______/.-. 'Cause that would be the day that they die (__._._) That would be the day that they die. 1 (?) And meanwhile, ASCII artists in our places 2 ) A generation lost in tabs and spaces 3 .._o Trying to make our pics look right; 4 ..://\/ So keep your sigs to four lines or three 5 ..:_/\ And make sure that you use PGP 6 ..:/ 'Cause crypto is freedom's only friend ... And as I watched Sanford Wallace on the stage |"`--..,--'"| My hands were clenched in fists of rage |[M] -|NEWS:| No angel born in hell |[M] -|Spam | Could break that Satan's spell; |`"--.|legal| And as the flames came flooding in |`"--.|,--'"| alt.silly.newsgroups.clogged.up.tin "`--.|,--'" I saw the Borg wear an evil grin The day, my server, died. ,--. `_' I was singing: (_.__) -(_)- Bye bye scam, you're just pie in the sky , . Drove the Albanians crazy, and sucked them all dry _.-*-._ Them good old admins let this spam slip by \_______/.-. Singing, `This'll be the day that I die; (__._._) This'll be the day that I die'. ,---. I met a girl, Emily Postnews /'_'_`\ And I asked for her to cure my blues, // ~<~`)\ But she just smiled and cancelled me; (( `-'/_ I went down to the cybercafe ) (-<\ Where I'd heard you didn't have to pay ,-' `.\\ But the man there said that the Net was down today ... Because the y2k had rolled around \ \ ,-./_ . And the Net had crashed into the ground , , \ ) And not a byte was spoken ( BOOM! ) ) The software all was broken ... ( / And the three men I admire most, ` / `-' \ ' Stallman, Linus, and the Oracular Ghost, / \ They took a Chevy to the coast, The day, our servers, died. ,--. `_' And they were singing: (_.__) -(_)- Bye bye spam, you're just pie in the sky , . The Net is all gone, but let's not just cry _.-*-._ We can start again one day, if only we try \_______/.-. And I said, `That'll be the day that I die; (__._._) That'll be the day that I die'. ,--. `_' We're all singing: (_.__) -(_)- Bye bye spam, you're just pie in the sky , . The Net is all gone, but let's not just cry _.-*-._ We can start again one day, if only we try \_______/.-. Even if that is the day that we die; (__._._) Even if that is the day ... that we die'. Copyright (C) 1998 Matthew Thomas (with apologies to Don McLean). This work may be freely copied, forwarded, or otherwise reproduced, as long as this copyright message is included. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Well, that's my contribution to the 6-line ASCII art cause. Until next time ... -- .._o Matthew Thomas (mpt26 @ student . canterbury . ac . nz) ..://\/ http://cantua.canterbury.ac.nz/~mpt26/ (Site for sore eyes) ..:_/\ ASCII ART FAQ: http://cantua.canterbury.ac.nz/~mpt26/art/ascii/ ..:/ Pyramid schemes are taxes on those who are bad at maths.
Matthew Thomas <mpt...@spamfree.land> wrote: >---------------------------------------------------------------------- > Ode to Pyramid Schemes and Other Assorted Internet Phenomena > by Matthew Thomas > \~/ A long, long time ago, > ,"\ I can still remember how those schemes used to make me > / |_`. smile ... > / (__ \ And I knew that if I ruled the world, > J __) ) Then I would send those jerks to hell > `.___|_,' And maybe I'd be happy, for a while ... [...snip...] Very good, Matthew...after that contribution I might just post your self-portrait in the Gallery of Ascii Artists...that's unless you've changed since you drew the picture...bi-focals; contact lenses; new hairdo; ear-rings? whatever. :-) ,a@@@@@@@@@m. ,@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@. J@@P':.. ..:`W@ @@@':;;.. ..;;::@) -= Matthew =- \@!:<#OK>::<4O#>.@ -= Thomas =- |.::"??"; `???.:"\ `._::..:_ee_...::_/ \:..______,::/ \::.. ...:/ `-:____:-' mt-3 Bye,
In article <35D...@spamfree.land>, Matthew Thomas <mpt...@spamfree.land> writes >William c. Hall Sr. wrote: >> >> Hi! This was originally posted this using an unregistered copy of >> ********* ********** *** >> >> You can download your own copy for FREE from: >> http://***.**********.*** >> >> --- >> >> THIS REALLY CAN MAKE YOU EASY MONEY >> >> A little while back, I was browsing these newsgroups, just like you >> are now, and came across an article similar to this that said you >> could make thousands of dollars within weeks with only an initial >> investment of $6.00! >>... ... ... > >---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > Ode to Pyramid Schemes and Other Assorted Internet Phenomena > by Matthew Thomas > > > \~/ A long, long time ago, > ,"\ I can still remember how those schemes used to make me > / |_`. smile ... > / (__ \ And I knew that if I ruled the world, > J __) ) Then I would send those jerks to hell > `.___|_,' And maybe I'd be happy, for a while ... <snip> <excellent stuff, but snipped to keep this reply short> Anyone noticed that inflation has took over? The price of Spam has gone up by $1. ??? Maybe they're suffering a lack of respondents (at long last!)
On Thu, 13 Aug 1998 20:43:20 +1200, Matthew Thomas <mpt...@spamfree.land> wrote: > Ode to Pyramid Schemes and Other Assorted Internet Phenomena > by Matthew Thomas This is F#(<ing brilliant. :nathaN :nathaN Remove "no2spam." to reply via eMail
Matthew Thomas <mpt...@spamfree.land> wrote: >Gee, thanks: 3-) As for my appearance, well, I'm still basically the >same as I was last year -- when I change radically, I'll let you know. >---- >THE ASCII ARTISTS GALLERY >Last modified: 27 June, 2053 >... [snip] > ,\\\|\|///|,. > ,\\\| ... \///. > \\|\':.. ..:`// > |\\'_____ _____:// -= Matthew =- > \\_/\<8>/--\<8>/\_ -= Thomas =- > |.::"`-'; ``-'.:"\ > `._::..:_ee_...::_/ > \:.. .__, ::/ > \::.. ...:/ > `|:|||.:\' `mt52' [mt-2] > '|||`` >---- >:-) I can't decide if that is your prediction of how you will look at age 52 or whether you forgot to shave? *8-) Bye,
Colin Douthwaite wrote: > > Matthew Thomas <mpt...@spamfree.land> wrote: >... > > Ode to Pyramid Schemes and Other Assorted Internet Phenomena > > by Matthew Thomas >... > Very good, Matthew...after that contribution I might just post your > self-portrait in the Gallery of Ascii Artists...that's unless you've > changed since you drew the picture...bi-focals; contact lenses; new > hairdo; ear-rings? whatever. :-) > > ,a@@@@@@@@@m. > ,@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@. > J@@P':.. ..:`W@ > @@@':;;.. ..;;::@) -= Matthew =- > \@!:<#OK>::<4O#>.@ -= Thomas =- > |.::"??"; `???.:"\ > `._::..:_ee_...::_/ > \:..______,::/ > \::.. ...:/ > `-:____:-' mt-3 > > Bye, Gee, thanks: 3-) As for my appearance, well, I'm still basically the same as I was last year -- when I change radically, I'll let you know. ---- THE ASCII ARTISTS GALLERY Last modified: 27 June, 2053 ... [snip] ,\\\|\|///|,. ,\\\| ... \///. \\|\':.. ..:`// |\\'_____ _____:// -= Matthew =- \\_/\<8>/--\<8>/\_ -= Thomas =- |.::"`-'; ``-'.:"\ `._::..:_ee_...::_/ \:.. .__, ::/ \::.. ...:/ `|:|||.:\' `mt52' [mt-2] '|||`` ---- :-) -- .._o Matthew Thomas (mpt26 @ student . canterbury . ac . nz) ..://\/ http://cantua.canterbury.ac.nz/~mpt26/ (Site for sore eyes) ..:_/\ ASCII ART FAQ: http://cantua.canterbury.ac.nz/~mpt26/art/ascii/ ..:/ Linux. Because life is too short to reboot.
.----- On Fri, 14 Aug 1998 16:39:07 GMT, Matthew Thomas posted: | Ode to Pyramid Schemes and Other Assorted Internet Phenomena | by Matthew Thomas '---------------------- Absolutely hilariously funny, you FAQmaintainership! That was great fun... instantly forwarded to my entire address book (minus people from a.a-a of course), with the copyright line intact......... Thankyou for that! Martin. |\/| _..__|_o._ /\_|_| o._ _ mart.atkins@-- | |(_|| |_|| | /--\|_|<|| |_> --bigfoot.com
Colin Douthwaite wrote: > > Matthew Thomas <mpt...@spamfree.land> wrote: > >... > > THE ASCII ARTISTS GALLERY > > Last modified: 27 June, 2053 > > > > ... [snip] > > > > ,\\\|\|///|,. > > ,\\\| ... \///. > > \\|\':.. ..:`// > > |\\'_____ _____:// -= Matthew =- > > \\_/\<8>/--\<8>/\_ -= Thomas =- > > |.::"`-'; ``-'.:"\ > > `._::..:_ee_...::_/ > > \:.. .__, ::/ > > \::.. ...:/ > > `|:|||.:\' `mt52' [mt-2] > > '|||`` >... > I can't decide if that is your prediction of how you will look at > age 52 or whether you forgot to shave? *8-) Well, work it out ... look at the date I gave for the gallery above ... (Click!) It's my estimate of how I will look at age 74. Hmmm, maybe I am being a bit optimistic ... I do look a bit younger than 74 there ... but given the state of medical technology in 2052, maybe it is reasonably realistic after all ... :-) Bye -- .._o Matthew Thomas (mpt26 @ student . canterbury . ac . nz) ..://\/ http://cantua.canterbury.ac.nz/~mpt26/ (Site for sore eyes) ..:_/\ <-- If this looks a mess, change your font to Courier ..:/ Linux. Because life is too short to reboot.
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