Original Usenet thread from rec.arts.ascii, started 20 Dec 1994.
Question: What is Geek Code
rec.arts.ascii
· 2 messages · 20 Dec 1994 - 21 Dec 1994
I have a dumb question..... What is this Geek Code (GSC) that I keep seeing? What does it mean?
In article <3d5r17$gt...@gagme.wwa.com>,
Timothy Miller <mil...@grad.csee.usf.edu> wrote:
>What is this Geek Code (GSC) that I keep seeing? What does it mean?
From robinson Tue Dec 13 19:30:30 1994
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Date: Tue, 13 Dec 1994 19:30:28 +1300
From: Tom Robinson <Tom.Robinson>
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Subject: geek-code-2.html
Status: RO
THE CODE OF THE GEEKS V2.1
July 18, 1994
So you think you are a geek, eh? The first step is to admit to
yourself your geekiness. No matter what anyone says, geeks are people
too; geeks have rights. So take a deep breath and announce to the
world that you are a geek. Your courage will give you strength that
will last you forever.
How to tell the world you are a geek, you ask? Use the universal Geek
code. By joining the geek organization, you have license to use this
special code that will allow you to let other un-closeted geeks know
who you are in a simple, codified statement.
The single best way to announce your geekhood is to add your geek code
to signature file and announce it far and wide. But be careful, you
may give other geeks the courage to come out of the closet. You might
want to hang on to your copy of the code in order to help them along.
_________________________________________________________________
BACKGROUND
The first version of the Geek Code was 0.1 and consisted of only about
five categories. 0.2 was mostly a spelling and bug fix. 0.3 added a
couple more categories.
1.0 was released about 4 months after 0.3 on July 17, 1993 and added
several more categories as well as the rules for cross-overs and
variables. 1.0.1 was a bug-fix released later that day.
Over the course of the next year or so, I received some 75 or so
various suggestions for improvements and changes in the Geek Code. Due
to time, I wasn't able to sit down and collect and sort all of the
suggestions and put everything together. Finally, in early July, 1994,
I found the time and decided that I would release version 2.0 on July
17, 1994, one year after version 1.0. Version 2.0 represents the
recommendations of many dozens of people too numerous to mention here.
This is version 2.1 and represents the fixing of several serious bugs
that slipped through while I was in a hurry to get 2.0 out the door.
I hope you like the Geek Code and find it an entertaining and useful
file.
_________________________________________________________________
INSTRUCTIONS
The geek code consists of several categories. Each category is labeled
with a letter and some qualifiers. Go through each category and
determine which set of qualifiers best describes you in that category.
By stringing all of these 'codes' together, you are able to construct
your overall geek code. It is this single line of code that will
inform other geeks the world over of what a great geek you actually
are.
Some of the qualifiers will very probably not match with you exactly.
Simply choose that qualifier that MOST CLOSELY matches you. Also, some
activities described in a specific qualifier you may not engage in,
while you do engage in others. Each description of each qualifier
describes the wide range of activities that apply, so as long as you
match with one, you can probably use that qualifier.
Also, pay particular attention to case-sensitivity, there can be a big
difference between a 'u' and a 'U'.
_________________________________________________________________
VARIABLES
Geeks can seldom be quantified. To facilitate the fact that within any
one category the geek may not be able determine a specific rating,
variables have been designed to allow this range to be included.
@ for variable, said trait is not very rigid, may change with
time or with individual interaction. For example, Geeks who
happen to very much enjoy Star Trek: The Next Generation, but
dislike the old 60's series might list themselves as t++@.
() for indicating "cross-overs" or ranges. Geeks who go from C+ to
C--- depending on the situation (i.e. mostly "C+") could use
C+(---). Another example might be an m++(**). This would be a
person who mostly listens to classical music, but also has an
extensive collection of other types of works.
> for 'wannabe' ratings. Indicating that while the geek is
currently at one rating, they are striving to reach another.
For example, C->++
$ Indicates that this particular category is done for a living.
For example, UL+++$ indicates that the person utilizes unix and
gets paid for it. Quite a lucky geek, for sure.
@ is different from () in that () has finite limits within the
category, while @ ranges all over.
_________________________________________________________________
Type
Geeks come in many flavors. The flavors relate to the vocation of the
particular geek. To start a code, a geek must declare himself or
herself to be a geek. To do this, we start the code with a "G" to
denote "GEEK", followed by one or two letters to denote the geeks
occupation or field of study. Multi-talented geeks with more than one
vocational training should denote their myriad of talents with a slash
between each vocation (example: GCS/MU/T).
GB Geek of Business
GC Geek of Classics
GCA Geek of Commercial Arts
GCM Geek of Computer Management
GCS Geek of Computer Science
GE Geek of Engineering
GED Geek of Education
GFA Geek of Fine Arts
GG Geek of Government
GH Geek of Humanities
GJ Geek of Jurisprudence (Law)
GL Geek of Literature
GM Geek of Math
GMD Geek of Medicine
GMU Geek of Music
GP Geek of Philosophy
GPM Geek of Pre-Med
GS Geek of Science (Physics, Chemistry, Biology, etc.)
GSS Geek of Social Science (Psychology, Sociology, etc.)
GT Geek of Theater
GTW Geek of Technical Writing
GO Geek of Other. Some types of geeks deviate from the normal geek
activities. This is encouraged as true geeks come from all
walks of life.
GU Geek of 'Undecided'. This is a popular vocation with incoming
freshmen.
GAT Geek of All Trades. For those geeks that can do anything and
everything. GAT usually precludes the use of other vocational
descriptors.
G Geek of No Qualifications
_________________________________________________________________
Section I: Appearance
DRESS
Geeks come in many different types of dress.
d++ I tend to wear conservative dress such as a business suit.
d+ I tend to wear trendy political messages like "Save the Whales"
or "Free South Africa".
d I dress a lot like those found in catalog ads. Bland, boring,
without life or meaning.
d- I tend to wear trendy political messages like "Nuke the
Humans", "Question Authority", or "Big Brother's Watching".
d-- I wear jeans to work just to piss off my boss
d--- At work, I have holes in my jeans and/or obscenities on my
shirt.
d---- Punk dresser
dx Cross Dresser
d? I have no idea what I am wearing right now, let alone what I
wore yesterday.
!d No clothing. Quite a fashion statement, don't you think?
-d+ I wear the same clothes all the time, no matter the occasion,
often forgetting to do laundry between wearings.
_________________________________________________________________
HAIR
Just as geeks have a stylish dress appearance, a geek's hair can also
be an important statement. Add an 'H' rating to tell about your hair.
H+++ My hair goes down past my waist
H++ My hair dangles to my mid-back
H+ It's down to about my shoulders
H It's just pretty normal hair
H- It's cut above the neck
H-- Above the neck AND ear (flattop)
H--- It's about 1/8" long.
H---- I shave my head daily, otherwise it gets too long
!H I'm bald
H? I have wigs that allow me to vary my hair
H* My hair is dyed funky flavors (add the '*' to one of the above)
_________________________________________________________________
SHAPE
Geeks come in many shapes and sizes. Shape code is divided into two
parts. The first indicates height, while the second indicates
roundness. Mix each section to fit yourself. Examples include: s:++,
s++:, s++:--.
s+++:+++
I usually have to duck through doors/I take up three movie
seats.
s++:++
I'm a basketball/linebacker candidate.
s+:+ I'm a little taller/rounder than most.
s I'm an average geek
s-:- I look up to most people. Everyone tells me to gain a few
pounds.
s--:--
I look up to damn near everybody. I tend to have to fight
against a strong breeze.
s---:---
I take a phone book with me when I go out so I can see to eat
dinner. My bones are poking through my skin.
_________________________________________________________________
GLASSES
Geeks have traditionally worn glasses.
g+++ I have coke-bottle classes that I can use to start leaves on
fire in the hot sun.
g++ I've got four eyes and tape in the middle.
g+ I've got four eyes, what's your point?
g- I have contacts
g-- I have colored contacts
g--- I have those funky contact that have interesting designs on
them such as happy faces or some such.
!g I have no glasses.
g? I can't find my glasses.
_________________________________________________________________
PENS
Geeks have lots of pens (and pen-like things) in their shirt pockets.
Look down at your shirt pocket and count them. Add a p(number) into
your code, where p stands for pen-count.
p# Average number of pens or pencils in a geek's pocket at any
given moment in time.
p? I can't find a writing instrument
!p pens are obsolete. I have a newton.
If there is also a calculator (or slide rule) often attached to your
belt or in your pocket or you carry a portable computer around with
you, add a plus sign, i.e. p4+.
_________________________________________________________________
AUTOMOBILE
There is an old saying that one's wheels define a person. Tell the
world about yours.
au++++
I have my chauffeured limo take me everywhere.
au+++ I own four different colored Mercedes.
au++ I drive a brand new car that cost more than most houses
au+ I have a sporty-looking car which would be a babe-mobile if I
wasn't such a geek.
au I drive a car which I bought from my parents. It has four doors
even though I'm the only one who ever rides in it.
au- I drive my parents' car. hey, if I could afford my own I
wouldn't be living at home with them (see section on housing).
au-- My car has rust everywhere and the muffler drags along the
ground.
au--- I drive a '77 Pinto which went over 100,000 miles two years
ago.
au----
I have a Yugo
!au I don't have a car
au* I have a motorcycle
_________________________________________________________________
AGE
The only way to become a true geek is through practice and experience.
To this end, your age becomes an important part of your geekiness. Use
the qualifiers below to show your age (in Terran years).
a+++ 60 and up
a++ 50-59
a+ 40-49
a 30-39
a- 20-29
a-- 10-19
a--- 9 and under
a? ageless
!a it's none of your business how old I am
In addition, if you wish to give your exact age, you can place the
number after the 'a' identifier. For example: a42
_________________________________________________________________
WEIRDNESS
Geeks have a seemingly natural knack for being "weird". Of course,
this is a subjective term as one person's weirdness is another
person's normalness. As a general rule, the following weird qualifiers
allow a geek to rate their weirdness.
w+++ Mainstream? I heard of that once, I think.
w++ I am so weird, I make Al Yankovic look sane.
w+ so? what's your problem with weird.
w I am not weird. I'm perfectly normal.
w- I'm more normal that most people normally are.
w-- I am so incredibly boring...
_________________________________________________________________
VERBAGE
A geeks mastery of the spoken language is an important attribute. Tell
us about it.
v--- I don't talk. I just type.
v-- When I talk, people usually look mildly embarrassed.
v- I use words like 'grok' in everyday conversation.
v At least I speak in complete sentences. Usually.
v+ People compliment me on my vocabulary.
v++ People compliment me on my eloquence.
v+++ I was the regional forensics champ.
!v Speech is irrelevant, I use telepathy
v? I mumble
v* I babble
_________________________________________________________________
Section II: Computers
COMPUTERS
Most geeks identify themselves by their use of computers and computer
networks. In order to quantify your geekiness level on computers,
consult the following (consider the term 'computers' synonymous with
'computer network'):
C++++ I'll be first in line to get the new cybernetic interface
installed into my skull.
C+++ You mean there is life outside of Internet? You're shittin' me!
I live for muds. I haven't dragged myself to class in weeks.
C++ Computers are a large part of my existence. When I get up in
the morning, the first thing I do is log myself in. I mud on
weekends, but still manage to stay off of academic probation.
C+ Computers are fun and I enjoy using them. I play a mean game of
DOOM! and can use a word processor without resorting to the
manual too often. I know that a 3.5" disk is not a hard disk. I
also know that when it says 'press any key to continue', I
don't have to look for a key labeled 'ANY'.
C Computers are a tool, nothing more. I use it when it serves my
purpose.
C- Anything more complicated than my calculator and I'm screwed.
C-- Where's the on switch?
C--- If you even mention computers, I will rip your head off!
_________________________________________________________________
UNIX
It seems that a Unix-based operating system is the OS of choice among
most geeks. In addition to telling us about your unix abilities, you
can also show which specific unix OS you are using. To accomplish
this, you include a letter showing the brand with your rating. For
example: UL++++ would indicate a sysadmin running Linux.
B BSD (use this unless your BSDish system is mentioned below)
L Linux
U Ultrix
A AIX
V SysV
H HPUX
I IRIX
O OSF/1
S Sun OS/Solaris
C SCO Unix
X NeXT
? Some other one not listed
U++++ I am the sysadmin. If you try and crack my machine don't be
surprised if the municipal works department gets an
"accidental" computer-generated order to put start a new
landfill on your front lawn.
U+++ I don't need to crack /etc/passwd because I just modified su so
that it doesn't prompt me. The admin staff doesn't even know
I'm here. If you don't understand what I just said, this
category does NOT apply to you!
U++ I've get the entire admin ticked off at me because I am always
using all of the CPU time and trying to run programs that I
don't have access to. I'm going to try cracking /etc/passwd
next week, just don't tell anyone.
U+ I not only have a unix account, but I slam VMS any chance I
get.
U I have a unix account to do my stuff in.
U- I have a VMS account.
U-- I've seen unix and didn't like it. DEC rules!
U--- Unix geeks are actually nerds in disguise.
_________________________________________________________________
PERL
If you enjoy at least U++ status you have to know about Perl, so you
might as well rate yourself in this sub-category. Non-unix geeks don't
know what they're missing.
P++++ I don't write Perl, I speak it. Perl has superseded all other
programming languages. I firmly believe that all programs can
be reduced to a Perl one-liner. I use Perl to achieve U+++
status.
P+++ Perl is a very powerful programming tool. Not only do I no
longer write shell scripts, I also no longer use awk or sed. I
use Perl for all programs of less than a thousand lines.
P++ Perl is a powerful programming tool. I don't write shell
scripts anymore because I write them in Perl.
P+ I know of perl. I like perl. I just haven't learned much perl,
but it is on my agenda.
P- What's Perl got that awk and sed don't have?
P-- Perl users are sick, twisted programmers who are just showing
off.
P--- Perl combines the power of sh, the clarity of sed, and the
performance of awk with the simplicity of C. It should be
banned.
P? What's Pearl?
!P Our paranoid admin won't let us install perl! Says it's a
"hacking tool".
_________________________________________________________________
LINUX
Linux is a hacker-written operating system virtually identical to
unix. It originally and continues to run on your standard
386/486/Pentium PC, but is also being ported to other systems. Because
it is still a young OS, and because it is continually evolving from
hacker changes and support, it is important that the geek list his
Linux ability.
L++++ I am Linus, hear me roar.
L+++ I am a Linux wizard. I munch C code for breakfast and have
enough room left over for a kernel debugging. I have so many
patches installed that I lost track about ten versions ago.
Linux newbies consider me a net.god.
L++ I use Linux almost exclusively on my system. I monitor
comp.os.linux.* and even answer questions some times. I've
aliased Linux FTP sites to make getting new software easier.
L+ I've managed to get Linux installed and even used it a few
times. It seems like it is just another OS.
L I know what Linux is, but that's about all
L- I have no desire to use Linux and frankly don't give a rats
patootie about it.
L-- Unix sucks. Because Linux = Unix. Linux Sucks. I worship Bill
Gates.
L--- I am Bill Gates.
!L I don't even know what Linux is!
_________________________________________________________________
386BSD
386bsd is another version of Unix written for 80x86 like systems.
Often there is a friendly (and periodically not-so-friendly) rivalry
between the forces of Linux and the forces of 386bsd. Identify your
BSDish rating below.
3+++ I am a 386bsd wizard. I munch C code for breakfast and have
enough room left over for a kernel debugging. I have so many
patches installed that I lost track about ten versions ago.
386bsd newbies consider me a net.god.
3++ I use 386bsd almost exclusively on my system. I monitor
comp.os.386bsd.* and even answer questions some times. I've
aliased BSD FTP sites to make getting new software easier.
3+ I've managed to get 386bsd installed and even used it a few
times. It seems like it is just another OS.
3 I know what it is, but that's about all
3- I have no desire to use 386bsd and frankly don't give a rats
patootie about it.
3-- Unix sucks. Because 386bsd = Unix. 386bsd Sucks. I worship Bill
Gates.
3--- I am USL's lawyer.
!3 I don't even know what 386bsd is!
_________________________________________________________________
USENET NEWS
Usenet, a global collection of flaming opinions and senseless babble,
was designed as a way to eat up precious spool space on a system's
hard drive. It also is a way for people to talk about things.
N++++ I am Tim Pierce
N+++ I read so many news groups that the next batch of news comes in
before I finish reading the last batch, and I have to read for
about 2 hours straight before I'm caught up on the morning's
news. Then there's the afternoon...
N++ I read all the news in a select handful of groups.
N+ I read news recreationally when I have some time to kill.
N Usenet News? Sure, I read that once
N- News is a waste of my time and I avoid it completely
N-- News sucks! 'Nuff said.
N* All I do is read news
!N We don't have news.
_________________________________________________________________
EMACS
GNU Emacs is the do-all be-everything editor availble for just about
every computer architecture out there.
E+++ Emacs is my login shell!! M-x doctor is my psycologist! I use
emacs to control my TV and toaster oven! All you vi people
don't know what you're missing! I read alt.relgion.emacs,
alt.sex.emacs, and comp.os.emacs.
E++ I know and use elisp regularly!
E+ Emacs is great! I read my mail and news with it!
E Yeah, I know what emacs is, and use it as my regular editor.
E- Emacs is too big and bloated for my tastes
E-- Emacs is just a fancy word processor
E--- Emacs sucks! vi forever!!!
E---- Emacs sucks! pico forever!!!
E? Emacs? What's that?
_________________________________________________________________
KIBO
Kibo is. That is all that can be said.
K++++++
I _am_ Kibo
K+++++
I've had sex with Kibo
K++++ I've met Kibo
K+++ I've gotten mail from Kibo
K++ I've read Kibo
K+ I like Kibo
K I know who Kibo is
K- I don't know who Kibo is
K-- I dislike Kibo
K--- I am Xibo
_________________________________________________________________
MS-WINDOWS
A good many geeks use the MicroSoft windows program running on DOS to
operate their PCs. Rate your Windows Geekiness.
W++++ I have Windows, Windows NT, and Windows NT Advanced Server all
running on my SMP RISC machine. I haven't seen daylight in six
months.
W+++ I am a MS Windows programming god. I wrote a VxD driver to
allow MS Windows and DOS to share the use of my waffle iron.
P.S. Unix sux.
W++ I write MS Windows programs in C and think about using C++
someday. I've written at least one DLL.
W+ I have installed my own custom sounds, wallpaper, and screen
savers so my PC walks and talks like a fun house. Oh yeah, I
have a hundred TrueType(tm) fonts that I've installed but never
used.
W Ok, so I use MS Windows, I don't have to like it.
W- I'm still trying to install MS Windows and have at least one
peripheral that never works right
W-- MS Windows is a joke operating system. Hell, its not even an
operating system. NT is Not Tough enough for me either.
W--- Windows has set back the computing industry by at least 10
years. Bill Gates should be drawn, quarted, hung, shot,
poisoned, disemboweled, and then REALLY hurt.
!W I don't do Windows. Got a problem with that?
_________________________________________________________________
MACINTOSH
Many geeks have abandoned the character-based computer and moved over
to the macintosh. It in important to give notification of your mac
rating.
M++ I am a mac guru. Anything those dos putzes and unix nerds can
do, i can do better, and if not, I'll write the damn software
to do it.
M+ A mac has it's uses and I use it quite often.
M I use a mac, but I'm pretty indifferent about it.
M- Macs suck. All real geeks have a character prompt.
M-- Macs do more than suck. They make a user stupid by allowing
them to use the system without knowing what they are doing. Mac
weenies have lower IQs than the fuzz in my navel.
M? What's a macintosh?
_________________________________________________________________
VMS
Many geeks use the VMS operating system by DEC for all of their
mainframe and network activity.
V++ Unix is a passing fad compared to the real power in the
universe, my VMS system.
V+ I tend to like VMS better than Unix
V I've used VMS.
V- Unix is much better than VMS for my computing needs.
V-- I would rather smash my head repeatedly into a brick wall than
suffer the agony of working with VMS. It's reminiscent of a
dead and decaying pile of moose droppings. Unix rules the
universe.
!V I've not ever used VMS.
_________________________________________________________________
Section III: Politics
POLITICS
Geeks come from widely variant political backgrounds.
po+++ Fuckin' Minorities! Adolf Hitler is my hero! And so is Rush
Limbaugh!
po++ All in favor of eliminating free speech, say aye!
po+ Let's get the government off of big-business's back
po Politics? I've heard of that somewhere but in all honesty I
really don't give a shit.
po- Bring back the 60's
po-- I'm still living in the 60's
po--- No taxes through no government
-po+ Don't label me you moron! Both sides are equally fucked up!
_________________________________________________________________
CYPHERPUNKS
With the birth of the overused buzzword "The Information
Superhighway", concerns over privacy from evil governmental
bad-guys{tm} has led to the formation of of an unofficial, loosely
organized band of civil libertarians who spend much of their time
discussing how to insure privacy in the information future. This group
is known by some as "cypherpunks" (to others, as anarchistic
subversives). To this end, tell us how punkish you are.
Y+++ I am T.C. May
Y++ I am on the cypherpunks mailing list and active around Usenet.
I never miss an opportunity to talk about the evils of Clipper
and the NSA. Orwells' 1984 is more than a story, it is a
warning to ours' and future generations. I'm a member of the
EFF.
Y+ I have an interest and concern in privacy issues, but in
reality I am not really all that active or vocal.
Y I'm pretty indifferent on the whole issue.
Y- It seems to me that all of these concerns are a little extreme.
I mean, the government must be able to protect itself from
criminals.
Y-- Get a life. The only people that need this kind of protection
are people with something to hide. I think cypherpunks are just
a little paranoid.
Y--- I am L. Dietweiller.
_________________________________________________________________
Section IV: Entertainment
STAR TREK
Most geeks have an undeniable love for the Star Trek television show
(in any of its four forms). Because GEEK is often synonymous with
TREKKIE (real geeks aren't so anal as to label themselves TREKKER), it
is important that all geeks list their Trek rating.
t+++ It's not just a TV show, its a religion. I know all about warp
field dynamics and the principles behind the transporter. I
have memorized the TECH manual. I speak Klingon. I go to cons
with Vulcan ears on. I have no life.
t++ It's the best show around. I have all the episodes and the
movies on tape and can quote entire scenes verbatim. I've built
a few of the model kits too. But you'll never catch me at one
of those conventions. Those people are kooks.
t+ It's a damn fine TV show and is one of the only things good on
television any more.
t It's just another TV show
t- Maybe it is just me, but I have no idea what the big deal with
Star Trek is. Perhaps I'm missing something but I just think it
is bad drama.
t-- Star Trek is just another Space Opera. William Shatner isn't an
actor, he's a poser! And what's with this Jean-Luc Picard? A
Frenchman with a British accent? Come on. I'd only watch this
show if my remote control broke.
t--- Star Trek SUCKS! It is the worst crap I have ever seen! Hey,
all you trekkies out there, GET A LIFE! (William Shatner is a
t---)
_________________________________________________________________
BABYLON 5
For many years, Sci-Fi geeks have wished for a television show that
would overcome the limitations of Star Trek. For many, a new show
called Babylon 5 has met that demand, with a deep storyline, exciting
characters and state-of-the-art computer generated effects.
5+++ I am a True Worshipper of the Church of Joe who lives eats
breathes and thinks Babylon 5, and has Evil toughts about
stealing Joe's videotape archives just to see episodes earlier.
I am planning to break into the bank and steal the
triple-encoded synopsis of the 5-year arc.
5++ Finally a show that shows what a real future would look like.
None of this Picardian "Let's talk about it and be friends"
crap. And what's this? We finally get to see a bathroom! Over
on that Enterprise, they've been holding it for over seven
years.
5+ Babylon 5 certainly presents a fresh perspective in the Sci-Fi
universe. I watch it weekly.
5 I've seen it, I am pretty indifferent to it.
5- This show is sub-par. The acting is wooden, the special effects
are obviously poor quality. In general, it seems like a very
cheap Star Trek ripoff.
5-- You call this Sci-Fi? That is such a load of crap! This show is
just a soap with bad actors, piss-poor effects, and lame
storylines. Puh-leese.
!5 I've never seen Babylon 5
_________________________________________________________________
JEOPARDY
Simply the geekiest television show in the world.
j+++ I dress like Art Fleming, practice Alex Trebek's vocal nuances,
and make a pilgrimage to the Jeopardy studio every six months
to either take the contestant test or to cheer from the
audience.
j++ I watch Jeopardy regularly, and annoy others in the college rec
center by shouting out the answers.
j+ I watch Jeopardy regularly.
j Sure I watch it, but, hey, it's only a show.
j- Jeopardy? That's show's for a bunch of no-life eggheads.
j-- I annoy others in the college rec center by shouting out the
*wrong* answers.
!j I've never seen Jeopardy or don't watch it.
j# I've taken the Jeopardy test # number of times.
j$ I've won money on the show.
jP I've gotten the d*mn Lee Press-On Nails on the show (or some
other lame-o consolation prize).
jx I don't watch Jeopardy because it's too easy
_________________________________________________________________
ROLE PLAYING
Role-playing games such as Dungeons & Dragons have long been a part of
the traditional geek life. Because geeks often become so involved in
their role-playing that they lose touch with reality, include one of
the following role-playing codes.
R+++ I've written and publish my own gaming materials.
R++ There is no life outside the role of the die. I know all of
piddly rules of (chosen game). _MY_ own warped rules scare the
rest of the players.
R+ I've got my weekly sessions set up and a character that I know
better than I know myself.
R Role-Playing? That's just something to do to kill a Saturday
afternoon
R- Gosh, what an utter waste of time!
R-- Role-Players are instruments of pure evil.
_________________________________________________________________
MAGIC: THE GATHERING
Magic: The Gathering is taking over. If you haven't heard of it, it
involves collecting cards that summon creatures, cast spells,
represent artifacts, etc., for the purpose of reducing the opponent's
life points from 20 to 0 in the course of a game. Many of geeks have
spent over $100 on these things, some a lot more.
G++++ I am considered a Magic(tm) god. I have nicknames for every
card and know just about every strategy there is.
G+++ I have a Lord of the Pit, a Black Lotus and a Reverse Damage. I
play for hours every night.
G++ I've spent almost $100 on cards. A good chunk of my spare time
goes into playing or constructing decks and keeping up my
checklist.
G+ Ok, ok, so I bought a few packs of cards. Big deal.
G I play Magic, if I can borrow a deck. It's an ok game.
G- I don't even play anymore. I just collect. My cards fill three
shoeboxes.
G-- I don't go to class/work anymore. Sometimes I don't sleep.
G--- I have 3 Lords of the Pit, Armageddon, Wrath of God, and two
Reverse Damages. I also have all five of the Greater Legends
Dragons. I can quote the exact wording and, in some cases,
casting cost, of any card on demand. I've memorized the PPG. I
am a Magic munchkin.
G---- Some friends and I are trying to get boxes of booster packs at
cost so we can sell them at a profit and buy more cards at cost
that we can sell for profit and buy more cards at....
G? What the hell _IS_ Magic?
G' I don't play Magic on purpose. It doesn't seem worth it.
G'' I make fun of my Magic-playing friends. Magic's a scam.
G''' I shun those who play Magic. They are stupid sheep who can't
see what an abovious scam it is.
G'''' I go out of my way to warn others of the dangers of "Crack for
Gamers" aka Magic:the Gathering.
_________________________________________________________________
TELEVISION
Many geeks have lives that revolve around television.
tv+++ There's nothing I can experience "out there" that I can't see
coming over my satellite dish. I wish there were MORE channels.
tv++ I just leave the tv on, to make sure I don't miss anything.
tv+ I watch some tv every day.
tv I watch only the shows that are actually worth while.
tv- I watch tv for the news and 'special programming.'
tv-- I turn my tv on during natural disasters.
!tv I do not own a television.
_________________________________________________________________
BOOKS
In addition, many geeks have lives that revolve around books.
b+++ I consume a few books a week as part of a staple diet.
b++ I find the time to get through at least one new book a month.
b+ I enjoy reading, but don't get the time very often.
b I read the newspaper and the occasional book.
b- I read when there is no other way to get the information.
b-- I did not actually READ the geek code, I just had someone tell
me.
_________________________________________________________________
DOOM!
There is a game out for the PC-class (and soon others) computers
called DOOM. It's a 3D virtual reality simulation where you race
around and blow things away with large-caliber weaponry. It can be
quite fun. Tell us about your DOOM experiences.
D+++ I crank out PWAD files daily, complete with new monsters,
weaponry, sounds and maps. I'm a DOOM God. I can solve the
original maps in nightmare mode with my eyes closed.
D++ I've played the shareware version and bought the real one and
I'm actually pretty good at the game. I occasionally download
PWAD files and play them too.
D+ It's a fun, action game that is a nice diversion on a lazy
afternoon.
D I've played the game and I'm pretty indifferent.
D- I've played the game and really didn't think it was all that
impressive.
D-- It's an overly-violent game and pure crap
D--- I've seen better on my Atari 2600
!D I've never played Doom!
_________________________________________________________________
BARNEY
Some people have heard of the Great Purple One. How do they feel about
him?
B+++ I worship the ground He walks on. I wish to erect a shrine for
Him in my front yard. I feel a need to sell all my worldly
belongings, shave my head, and go to airports where I will hand
out Barney dolls and spread His message of universal love for
everyone regardless of race, creed, color, sexual preference,
or species.
B++ I don't miss an episode, except when I have to work or go in
for a root canal. Barney loves me.
B+ I like him. He has a nice, wholesome message. He's good for the
country.
B Hey, the little tykes love him, they don't go around
karate-chopping each other any more; what's the big deal?
B- Barney is annoying
B-- Don't talk to me about him. I'm getting sick of his smarmy
message. He makes me ill.
B--- He's sick. He's polluting our children's minds with this love
and tolerance crap. Boycott any station or store that carries
him. His head would really look good on my wall next to stuffed
Smurfs.
!B Who's Barney?
_________________________________________________________________
Section V: Lifestyle
EDUCATION
All geeks have a varying amount of education.
e++++ Still pretty stupid, over qualified to work any job, went and
got my Ph.D.
e+++ Had not learned enough to know better not to go back and try
for a master's degree.
e++ Managed to finish my bachelors.
e+ Started a degree, plan to finish it some day.
e K-12, been on a college campus.
e- Got my bachelors, escaped alive, and am making hoards of money
writing unmaintainable (except by me) software.
e-- The company I work for was dumb enough to fund my way through a
masters degree, then started paying me even more money.
e--- Achieved a Ph.D, have devoted my life to insignificant
research, which my employer pays dearly for.
!e Flunked high school, learned life the hard way
e* I learned everything there is to know about life from the
"Hitchhiker's Trilogy".
_________________________________________________________________
MUSIC
Musical interests vary widely, also.
u+++ I consider myself over-refined and grok that heavy-duty
elevator music.
u++ I consider myself refined and enjoy classical and new-age
selections
u+ I own a tape or CD collection (records also count, but you
would be admitting how old you really are).
u I occasionally listen to the radio
u- Just play it loud
u-- I play air-guitar better than anyone else.
u--- LISTEN! I SAID TO PLAY IT LOUD!
u* I listen to music that no one else has ever heard of
u** I listen to so many types of music that I can't even keep them
straight
-u I like _both_ kinds of music: Country AND Western
_________________________________________________________________
HOUSING
Tell us about your geeky home.
h++ Living in a cave with 47 computers and an Internet feed,
located near a Dominoes pizza. See !d.
h+ Living alone, get out once a week to buy food, no more than
once a month to do laundry. All surfaces covered.
h Friends come over to visit every once in a while to talk about
Geek things. There is a place for them to sit.
h- Living with one or more registered Geeks.
h-- Living with one or more people who know nothing about being a
Geek and refuse to watch 'Star Trek'.
h--- Married, with the potential for children. (persons living with
a fiance might as well label themselves h---, you're as good as
there already.)
h---- Married with children - Al Bundy can sympathize
h! I am stuck living with my parents!
h* I'm not sure where I live anymore. This lab/workplace seems
like home to me.
_________________________________________________________________
FRIENDS
Yes, it's true; geeks do have friends. At least, some of them do.
f++ I have so many friends, I make other people jealous.
f+ I have quite a few really close friends. We get along great.
They are all other geeks, though.
f Yeah, I have friends. Who told you?
f- I have a few friends. They barely seem to speak to me anymore.
f-- I've got about one friend left in the world, who probably wants
to shoot me.
f--- I used to have friends, but I didn't like it
f? I *think* I have friends.
f* Everyone is my friend.
!f I have no friends. Get lost.
_________________________________________________________________
RELATIONSHIPS
Many geeks are highly successful at having relationships, a good many
more are not. Give us the gritty details.
r+++ Found someone, dated, and am now married.
r++ I've dated my current SO for a long time
r+ I bounce from one relationship to another, but I have quite a
few.
r I date periodically
r- I have difficulty maintaining a relationship
r-- Most people aren't interested in dating me
r--- I'm beginning to think I'm a leper or something, the way people
avoid me like the plague
!r I've never had a relationship
r* signifying membership in the SBCA (Sour Bachelor(ette)'s Club
of America). The motto is 'Bitter, but not Desperate'. First
founded at Caltech.
_________________________________________________________________
NUTRITION
Geeks usually consume food. Some eat everything they can grab while
some others are quite conscious of their food. (Note: 'n' is used for
nutrition as 'f' is used elsewhere.)
n+++ I graze like a bunny - pass me a carrot!
n++ I like the fibers in food
n+ I like food - especially when it is healthy.
n- Food? I just grab something from the shelves with meat in it.
n-- I eat only the cheap things - even with artificial meat and
vegetables.
n--- I eat meat - seen Jurassic Park?
n---- I _live_ on snacks and coke.
!n Eh what? never mind the menu, give me something to eat!
_________________________________________________________________
SEX
Geeks have traditionally had problems with sex (ie, they never have
any). Because geeks are so wrapped up in their sexuality (or lack of
sexuality for that matter), it is important that the geek be willing
to quantify their sexual experiences.
This code also is used to denote the gender of the geek. Females use
'x' in this category, while males use 'y'. Those that do not wish to
disclose their gender can use 'z'. For example:
x+ A female who has had sex
y+ A male who has had sex.
z+ A person (gender undisclosed) who has had sex.
For those person who do not wish to give out any details of their sex
life, the use of x? (where x is the gender code) will allow you to so.
x++++ I have a few little rug rats to prove I've been there. Besides,
with kids around, who has time for sex?
x+++ I'm married, so I can get it (theoretically) whenever I want.
x++ I was once referred to as 'easy'. I have no idea where that
might have come from though.
x+ I've had real, live sex.
x- I prefer computer sex to real sex.
x-- I was once referred to as a 'cyberslut', but I have no idea
where that might have come from.
x* I'm a pervert.
x** I've been known to make perverts look like angels.
!x Sex? What's that? I've had no sexual experiences.
x? It's none of your business what my sex life is like (this is
used to denote your gender only).
!x+ Sex? What's that? No experience, willing to learn!
_________________________________________________________________
The Geek Code is copyright 1993,1994 by Robert A. Hayden
<hay...@krypton.mankato.msus.edu>. All rights reserved. You are free
to distribute this code in electronic format provided that the file
remains unmodified and this copyright notice remains attached.
_________________________________________________________________
Stainless Steel Rat <rat...@ccs.neu.edu>
Last modified: Mon Dec 12 14:53:06 1994
--
8 Bare ==> Do not disturb. Already disturbed <== vuU Uuv
o-+-o Foot GCS 2.1 -d+(-) H- s+/ !g p1>+ au+ a? w+ v---/-- C++ U N+++(-) E+
< > Guru W/--- M++ po(--) t+ R+ !tv- b+++ D e* u+(---) h@ !f r* n+ y* x*
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