Dust Off Your Funny Bone

Welcome To...           _______ _
                       |__   __| |
                          | |  | |__   ___
                          | |  | '_ \ / _ \
 .-.     _      ______    | |  | | | |  __/    ____
(   `. .' )    |  ____|   |_|  |_| |_|\___|   |  _ \
 `\   ` .'     | |__ _   _ _ __  _ __  _   _  | |_) | ___  _ __   ___ 
   |   |       |  __| | | | '_ \| '_ \| | | | |  _ < / _ \| '_ \ / _ \
   |   |       | |  | |_| | | | | | | | |_| | | |_) | (_) | | | |  __/
   | 66|_      |_|   \__,_|_| |_|_| |_|\__, | |____/ \___/|_| |_|\___|
   |  ,__)                              __/ |                         
   |(,_|                               |___/
   | |
   | \_,       This is a sample of the humor and art of The Funny Bone,
   |   |       a free weekly e-mailing of jokes and funny stories, il-
   |   |       lustrated with the original ASCII artwork of Joan Stark.
 .'     \      If you enjoy this and would like to have The Funny Bone
(    ,   )     e-mailed to you each week, free of charge, then follow
 '--' '-'      the subscription instructions in the signature.

             .----------------.        An idiot was waiting in the down-
             |_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I]___     town L. A. bus station for the
     .::.    |  _          : ; _  )    bus to Pasadena.  He spotted a
jgs  ':::'' ='-(_)----------=-(_)-'    machine with a sign that read:

            YOUR HEIGHT, YOUR WEIGHT, YOUR FORTUNE $1.00

 He stepped on the scale and dropped a dollar bill in the slot. Out came
 a card that said: "You are 5 feet 10 inches tall. You weigh 160 pounds,
 and you are waiting for the bus to Pasadena."

 The idiot said, "How did that machine know that?  Well, I'll fool it."
 He went downstairs to the men's room, rolled up his coat collar, pulled
 down the brim of his hat, and put on a fake beard. He tiptoed back up
 the stairs, sneaked along the wall, spun around and jumped on the scale
 and quickly placed another dollar in the slot.

 Out came a card that read: "You are 5 feet 10 inches tall, you weigh
 160 pounds, and while you were screwing around down in the men's room,
 you missed the bus to Pasadena."
                                                             _     .-. 
           John Nunley <jok...@funnybone.com>           ( `. .'   )
                                                             `. `   /'
     Write to <sub...@funnybone.com> to learn more          |   |
       about the Funny Bone and to have subscription           |   |
        instructions automatically e-mailed to you.           _|66 |
                                                             (__,  |
        For more humor, visit the Funny Bone Website           L_,)|
                http://www.funnybone.com                         | |
                                                               ,_/ |
                 ASCII Art by Joan Stark                       |   |
            http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/7373/                |   |
                                                              /     '.
   The Funny Bone is powered by a GoSite Internet Server     (   ,    )
               http://www.funnybone.com/gs               jgs  '-' '--'

Related ASCII art in the Gallery

Explore these categories from our collection of 11,000+ artworks:

    .-.
   (o.o)
    |=|
   __|__
 //.=|=.\\
// .=|=. \\
\\ .=|=. //
 \\(_=_)l42

 _       _
(_'-----'_)
(_.'""""._)
       fsc

Make your own ASCII art

Turn images, text or 3D into ASCII, or draw your own – right in your browser.