About the future

The Future?

The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the
other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government
conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has
accepted a 5 year phase in plan that would be known as 'EuroEnglish'.

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make
the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of
the 'k'. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less
letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with the 'f'. This will make words like
'fotograf' 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a horor
to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the mes of the silent 'e'-s in
the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

By the 4th yar, peopl will be reseptiv to steps such as replasing the 'th'
with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'. During ze fifz yar, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd
from vords kontaining 'ou' and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yar, ve vil hav a sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor
trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

  ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU !!!

>After zis fifz yar, ve vil hav a sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor
>trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
>
>  ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU !!!

HAHAHAHA!
.
http://members.aol.com/lester5374/index.htm  -  Ansi home page 
FTP://members.aol.com/lester5374/ansi  - To download the ANSI format

h..o..l..y..s..h..i..t........
What can we do to prevent/combat this? Is it for real or just some message
trying to express a really abstract view on our decadent western society or just
some stupid spam?
Weird shit, eh?
-Hoogie

Slave to Darkness wrote:

> The Future?
>
> The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English
> will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the
> other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government
> conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has
> accepted a 5 year phase in plan that would be known as 'EuroEnglish'.
>
> In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make
> the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of
> the 'k'. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less
> letter.
>
> There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
> troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with the 'f'. This will make words like
> 'fotograf' 20% shorter.
>
> In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
> reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
> will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a horor
> to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the mes of the silent 'e'-s in
> the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.
>
> By the 4th yar, peopl will be reseptiv to steps such as replasing the 'th'
> with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'. During ze fifz yar, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd
> from vords kontaining 'ou' and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
> kombinations of leters.
>
> After zis fifz yar, ve vil hav a sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor
> trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
>
>   ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU !!!

[followup set appropriately to eliminate crossposting]

On Mon, 20 Jul 1998, Slave to Darkness wrote:

> After zis fifz yar, ve vil hav a sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor
> trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
> 
>   ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU !!!

My first reaction was "God Forbid."

Followed by loud laughter ;-)



 ___________________________________________________________________
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 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Deborah Hougland wrote:
> 
> Slave to Darkness wrote:
> 
> > The Future?
> >
> > The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English
> > will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the
> > other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government
> > conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has
> > accepted a 5 year phase in plan that would be known as 'EuroEnglish'.
> >
> > In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make
> > the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of
> > the 'k'. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less
> > letter.

[SNIP]

> h..o..l..y..s..h..i..t........
> What can we do to prevent/combat this?

Take a Valium.

> Is it for real or just some message
> trying to express a really abstract view on our decadent western society or just
> some stupid spam?

It's a rewrite of a famous piece by Samuel Langhorne
Clemens. Nothing more.


/* dan: The Anti-Ged, Ignorant Yank (tm) #1, BOF #26, HH #1 */

Dan Nitschke : peD...@best.com : elv...@redbrick.com
<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>
 Always do right. This will gratify some people, and
          astonish the rest.  -- Mark Twain

This is a follow up to About the future . > The Future?
> 
> The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English
> will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the
> other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government
> conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has
> accepted a 5 year phase in plan that would be known as 'EuroEnglish'.
> 
> In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make
> the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of
> the 'k'. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less
> letter.
> 
 You're taking the picc . . .
--
Regards,

Andy.

<and...@ukonline.co.uk>
<http://web.ukonline.co.uk/andy.k2/gallery.html>

Lester5374 <les...@aol.com> wrote:
>>After zis fifz yar, ve vil hav a sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor
>>trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
>>
>>  ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU !!!

>HAHAHAHA!


Sounds like Pete Casso writing about HTML in "htmlsteinese" ? :-)

Bye,

In article <35b...@d2o24.telia.com>,
  "Slave to Darkness" <con...@ljungby.mail.telia.com> wrote:
> The Future?
>
> The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English
> will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the
> other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government
> conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has
> accepted a 5 year phase in plan that would be known as 'EuroEnglish'.
>
> In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make
> the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of
> the 'k'. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less
> letter.

Mr. Twain said it better and didn't waste my time and bandwidth. Even
plagiarized spam is still spam. Do us a favorite Slave to Dullness, if you
must[1] cross-post spam to alt.ascii-art, at least have
an interesting ascii signature line.

Slave to Doughnuts

aka "LemurBoy"

()__()
 \../ lem...@hotfrinkmail.com
  \/  to e-mail me, get the frink out.
{1} Obsessive/Compulsive, your Prozac doesn't work, chronically lame, etc.


-----== Posted via Deja News, The Leader in Internet Discussion ==-----
http://www.dejanews.com/rg_mkgrp.xp   Create Your Own Free Member Forum

Kan this be True?
Dan Nitschke wrote in message <35B...@best.com>...
>Deborah Hougland wrote:
>>
>> Slave to Darkness wrote:
>>
>> > The Future?
>> >
>> > The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby
English
>> > will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was
the
>> > other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's
Government
>> > conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has
>> > accepted a 5 year phase in plan that would be known as 'EuroEnglish'.
>> >
>> > In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will
make
>> > the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in
favour of
>> > the 'k'. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less
>> > letter.
>
>[SNIP]
>
>> h..o..l..y..s..h..i..t........
>> What can we do to prevent/combat this?
>
>Take a Valium.
>
>> Is it for real or just some message
>> trying to express a really abstract view on our decadent western society
or just
>> some stupid spam?
>
>It's a rewrite of a famous piece by Samuel Langhorne
>Clemens. Nothing more.
>
>
>/* dan: The Anti-Ged, Ignorant Yank (tm) #1, BOF #26, HH #1 */
>
>Dan Nitschke : peD...@best.com : elv...@redbrick.com
><>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>
> Always do right. This will gratify some people, and
>          astonish the rest.  -- Mark Twain

>In article <35b...@d2o24.telia.com>,
>  "Slave to Darkness" <con...@ljungby.mail.telia.com> wrote:
>> The Future?
>>
>> The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English
>> will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the
>> other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government
>> conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has
>> accepted a 5 year phase in plan that would be known as 'EuroEnglish'.
>>
>> In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make
>> the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of
>> the 'k'. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less
>> letter.

>Mr. Twain said it better and didn't waste my time and bandwidth. Even
>plagiarized spam is still spam. Do us a favorite Slave to Dullness, if you
>must[1] cross-post spam to alt.ascii-art, at least have
>an interesting ascii signature line.

>Slave to Doughnuts

So I D/L one more posting / get a good (unexpected) laugh / print the message
out / take it to my father in hospital & cheer up his day .

My point ?

Stop bitching this is what makes the N/Gs sooooooo much fun ,if you don't want
the unexpected , read book five times or watch a TV soap .To the original poster
of "The Future"

THANKYOU !


HedgeHogg

Colin wrote:
>Sounds like Pete Casso writing about HTML in "htmlsteinese" ? :-)

Ha ha ha, OK, Colin, this one joke of yours got a grin from me here <grin>

===========================================================
[]                                                       []
[]     ,,   (__)    As bride and groom we hail           []
[]    ( ">  <" )    all devils with but one tail         []
[]   ,(> )><( <),                                        []
[]  (  ^^    ^^  )  http://www3.sympatico.ca/petecasso/  []
[]                                                       []
===========================================================

On Mon, 20 Jul 1998 19:34:08 +0200, "Slave to Darkness"
<con...@ljungby.mail.telia.com> wrote:

--snip--
>
>  ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU !!!

ve hav vays of making yu talk
--------------------------------------------------------
|Bill and Dawn '94 Ford Bronco
|               '85 Honda Magna V30       
|               '72 Olds Cutlass Supreme
|Email address changed due to growing Auto-SPAM.
--------------------------------------------------------

Lester5374 wrote:
> 
> > After zis fifz yar, ve vil hav a sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no
> > mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand
> > ech ozer.
> >
> > ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU !!!
> 
> HAHAHAHA!

Yes, but off-topic, heavily cross-posted, and not nearly as funny as the
original, which I think is about 40 years old and features Bernard Shaw
instead of the European Commission. (Unfortunately, I don't have it with
me.)

> http://members.aol.com/lester5374/index.htm  -  Ansi home page
Or, http://members.aol.com/lester5374/ :-)

Chow
-- 
   .._o  Matthew Thomas (mpt26 @ student . canterbury . ac . nz)
 ..://\/ http://cantua.canterbury.ac.nz/~mpt26/ (Site for sore eyes)
..:_/\   <-- If this looks a mess, change your font to Courier
  ..:/   Grated carrot!

On Thu, 23 Jul 1998 13:17:20 GMT, dav...@aval.net (Bill and Dawn) wrote:

>On Mon, 20 Jul 1998 19:34:08 +0200, "Slave to Darkness"
><con...@ljungby.mail.telia.com> wrote:
>
>--snip--
>>
>>  ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU !!!

>ve hav vays of making yu talk

Like forcing us to post to newsgroups only in HTML perhaps?

How yer goin' there Pete?  :-)

Bye,

>Message-id: <35B...@ukonline.co.uk>
Official languages are changing?  It's almost
as bad as the following...  ;)

A high school student in Idaho  urged people
 to sign a petition demanding strict control or 
total elimination of the chemical
 "dihydrogen monoxide."
 
 And for plenty of good reasons, since:
1. It can cause excessive sweating and vomiting
2. It's a major component in acid rain
3. It can cause severe burns in its gaseous state
4. Accidental inhalation can kill you
5. It contributes to erosion
6. It decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes
7. It's been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients
 
 He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical. Forty-three
 said yes, six were undecided, and only one knew that the chemical was:
-- water.--
 
He did this as a school project . The title of his prize winning project was,
"How Gullible Are We?"  He
 feels the conclusion is obvious.

-joan
--
  .+"+.+"+.+"+.+"+.+"+.+"+.+"+.+"+.+"+.+"+.+"+.+"+.+"+.+"+.+"+.
 /       joan stark                ASCII ART GALLERY           \
 \   spu...@juno.com        http://www.ascii-art.com        /
  "+.+"+.+"+.+"+.+"+.+"+.+"+.+"+.+"+.+"+.+"+.+"+.+"+.+"+.+"+.+"

In article <35b...@news.southern.co.nz>, cfb...@southern.co.nz
(Colin Douthwaite) wrote:
> 
> On Thu, 23 Jul 1998 13:17:20 GMT, dav...@aval.net (Bill and Dawn) wrote:
> 
> >On Mon, 20 Jul 1998 19:34:08 +0200, "Slave to Darkness"
> ><con...@ljungby.mail.telia.com> wrote:
> >
> >--snip--
> >>
> >>  ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU !!!
> 
> >ve hav vays of making yu talk
> 
> Like forcing us to post to newsgroups only in HTML perhaps?
.

                      |\  |
^^^^=---   _  \    /  | \ |
 "   \ Y  /-\  \/\/   |  \|

Give it a rest, Colin.


NOTE: I do not pick up my mail from the idirect address that you
see. If you are e-mailing me and hit the reply button, add an "e"
to "freent"; its absense is to stop the torment of automatic mailers.
--
       ___         llizard aka ejm  cq547@freene+.+oron+o.on.ca
     _/   |    ,^%---   
    |_____|  __<_ \ Can we go back to posting pictures now?            
      --- ==   >/                 
    [_____]  __>,^            ASCII-ar+, ASCII & gif anima+ions
  ejm|   |  //| |          www.geocities.com/SoHo/Studios/9334/

llizard <lli...@iNOdirect.ca> wrote:
>In article <35b...@news.southern.co.nz>, cfb...@southern.co.nz
>(Colin Douthwaite) wrote:
>> 
>> On Thu, 23 Jul 1998 13:17:20 GMT, dav...@aval.net (Bill and Dawn) wrote:
>> 
>> >On Mon, 20 Jul 1998 19:34:08 +0200, "Slave to Darkness"
>> ><con...@ljungby.mail.telia.com> wrote:
>> >
>> >--snip--
>> >>
>> >>  ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU !!!
>> 
>> >ve hav vays of making yu talk
 
>> Like forcing us to post to newsgroups only in HTML perhaps?


> Give it a rest, Colin.

Ooooooh!  Cheeky!  Address your admonitions to petehtmlstein...or
perhaps you agree with him ???    *8-(


>                        |\  |
>  ^^^^=---   _  \    /  | \ |
>   "   \ Y  /-\  \/\/   |  \|


Hmm...try to get a little more sleep llizard.


Here's Dylan who may be able to lull you to sleep with his guitar
and some of his songs...provided he doesn't yawn and fall asleep
first...

__                                             __
||_____________________________________________||
||  _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _  ||
|| {                                         } ||
|| {      > YAWWWWN!      |                  } ||
|| {     /            \   |   /              } ||
|| {   /               \__|__/               } ||
|| {  (           _.--~_@.__ ~~-._           } ||
|| {   \         :..____~         ~-.        } ||                /~~~~\
|| {    \ ________''                 ~_      } ||   //~~\      /  \    \
|| {     (/~~^^'' ~~-.. ~ ._           ;     } ||  /   \\\    //    \ __)
|| {                   `-._ `.          ~.   } || (__/\__\%%%%  __(``
|| {                        ~~\.        ~\   } ||    {{ /^^^^^\ {=
|| .......................... ~\.\.\.\.\.\  .. ||   <( ((=)(=) ) />_
||  .                                          ||   w/   ~_ ~    \ w
||   .                                         ||  / (   { }     ) \\
||\   .................................  / \ ... {{i| \__/,\___./ |_}}
~~ \   .                               < o o.>    "'"'''\_|_/'____""'"
    \   .                             // \/~ \       / /     (     \
     \   .                                 \  \     | /       \     \
      \   .                                  \/`U,__| | /--,|~~\    )
       \   .                                   (/     | (UUU/--_  _ /
        \   .                                   (/~~)__/  \|       |
         \   .                                 / \\\ //    \~~~~~~~~
          \   .  .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .(_  \\/    |       |
           \   (                                ) /      /        \
            \  (                                 /       |         \
             \ |   -cfbd-                       /        |          \
              \|______________________________ )         |           \
                 || |                        __/~~~~~( ~~__/~~~~~( ~~~
                 || |                       (_________) (_________)
                  `~~                         `~~           `~~
                         " Sweet Dreams Baby ! "


                    DYLAN.  (from The Magic Roundabout)

                    An American rabbit who
                    spends most of his time
                    asleep or yawning.

Bye,

>>A high school student in Idaho  urged people
 to sign a petition demanding strict control or 
total elimination of the chemical
 "dihydrogen monoxide."
 
 And for plenty of good reasons, since:
1. It can cause excessive sweating and vomiting
2. It's a major component in acid rain
3. It can cause severe burns in its gaseous state
4. Accidental inhalation can kill you
5. It contributes to erosion
6. It decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes
7. It's been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients
 
 He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical. Forty-three
 said yes, six were undecided, and only one knew that the chemical was:
-- water.--
 
He did this as a school project . The title of his prize winning project was,
"How Gullible Are We?"  He
 feels the conclusion is obvious.<<

 Two kids in Pittsburgh mailed out letters to a bunch of people in their area
with the same warnings. People were writing officials complaining about the
"shockingly high amount of dihydrogen monoxide getting into their homes
everyday" They were especially irate at the fact that it was found in
everybody's tap water.